“She’s a manifester, if there ever was one,” he says. “First-rate manifester. Madonna makes things happen. Put Madonna up against any twenty-three-year-old, she’ll outwork them, outdance them, outperform them. The woman is broad.”

“Broad,” I say, repeating the word of the day.

“And, of course, here you go: I still love her,” he says. He takes a breath, drives through a red light. If no one is ahead of him, Guy Ritchie does not typically stop. “But she’s retarded, too.”

It’s rocky getting a divorce, innit? I say.

“You can’t tell someone when they’re getting divorced that their pain is an illusion,” he says. “I’m f*cking telling you, I feel it, I’ve been through that. You have, too. No one can say you don’t feel that.”

On 34-year-old Ryan Seacrest being a suitor for her: “Honey, you’re kind of old for me (laughs).”

On how young she likes her guys: “You have to be old enough to dress yourself… Younger people are generally more adventurous - they’re more open, more fun - have you met many guys my age? Guys my age are married or divorced or grumpy, fat and balding.”

On her self-image: “My body is part of my job. If I’m not in good shape, then how can I dance around on stage with my butt hanging out, right? I look in the mirror and go ‘hmm-mm. Less cake, more work.’”

On Kanye West: “Yeah, he’s a bit impulsive. I would’ve given him a good talking to. He needs to put a lid on it. I do think he’s very talented but he gets confused sometimes.”

On having famous guests at her concerts: “I was getting super-sharp looks from [Jennifer Lopez]. Her ponytail distracted me. Whenever artists come to see my show, they’re studying me.”

On how her music will be impacted by her new life: “It just means it’s gonna get better ’cause I’m happier.”

Two technicians, including a Brit, died last week when a temporary roof at the home ground of Marseilles FC, France, fell on 50 workers before one of her gigs. A French newspaper said Madonna, 50, had “declined” to be interviewed by investigators. Magistrates say she is an important witness as she has a £60million contract with Live Nation, which was organising the concert.